Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
