How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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