stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize