I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its not stalking. its research.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
