your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
pray to the hookup gods
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
