But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
