I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
