I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
