I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
