I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
