But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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