Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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