hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
