Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
