Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
