Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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