I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Can you bring me the toilet please
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
