I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
