Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
