No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
