when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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