I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
