Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
