Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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