I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
