i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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