i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
