It's Friday. Sex?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
