So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
