I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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