I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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