I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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