that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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