Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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