"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
