i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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