I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
