ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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