We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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