she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
