I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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