I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
