Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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