I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
