the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My ass is underappreciated
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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