He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
