Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
