Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
