How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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