I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
