How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We got so high we made milksteak
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
