break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
