Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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